The Awesome Always: Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him Biography

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True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. -Erich Segal,
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question -Lily Tomlin
Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance. -Unknown
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. -Henry Youngman
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. -Mae West
Always marry the man of your age because if your beauty will fade so will his eye sight. -Unknown, funny love quote.
Don't fall for anyone, unless they are willing to catch you. -Unknown
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. -Albert Einstein
I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. -Woody Allen
I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them. -Mae West, funny love quotes.
The bravest thing that men do is love women -Mort Sahl
One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry. -Oscar Wilde
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. -Woody Allen
You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. -Melanie Clark
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. -Groucho Marx
Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. -Josh Billings
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen
One is very crazy when in love. -Sigmund Freud
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell -Joan Crawford
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. -Samuel Johnson
You call it madness, but I call it love. -Don Byas
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. -Unknown
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What... does a woman want?" -Sigmund Freud
Never sign a Valentine with your own name. -Charles Dickens
Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to. -Alfred Montapert
Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life. -Unknown
I have great hopes that we shall greatly appreciate each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. -Lord Byron
It is impossible to love and be wise -Francis Bacon
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. -Cathy Carlyle
Love is being stupid together. -Paul Valery
Love is a grave mental disease -Plato
Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. -Christopher Marlowe
Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. -Cher
Love is just like a card game; first kick out the jokers, then throw away hearts, keep the diamond and try to win the king. -Unknown
Love is a promise delivered already broken. -Steve Martin
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw -Fran Lebowitz
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. -Albert Einstein
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. -Winston Churchill
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. -Brendan Francis
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. -H. L. Mencken, funny love quotes.
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty. -Unknown
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. -Mae West
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. -Melanie Griffith
Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one -Glenn Beck
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. -Pearl Bailey
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. -Unknown
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat. -Ben Hecht
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman -Oscar Wilde
But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down -Woody Allen
Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. -Unknown, funny love quotes.
I am not one of those who do not believe in love at first sight, but I believe in taking a second look. -H. Vincent funny love quotes.
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -Agatha Christie
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? -Bette Midler
Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. -Jonathon Swift
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species -W. Somerset Maugham
Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate -Sandra J. Dykes, funny love quotes.
The only people who make love all the time are liars -Louis Jordan
Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta Castorini: No.
Rose: Good. When you love them they drive you crazy because they know they can.

II.
Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta Castorini: Aw, ma, I love him awful.
Rose: Oh, God, that's too bad.
"I detest 'love lyrics.' I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on 'love lyrics." - Frank Zappa

"You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap." - Dolly Parton

"I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

"A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did." - Edgar Watson Howe

"I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's eighth husband on her wedding night: I know what I'm supposed to do...I just have to figure out a way to make it interesting." - many attributions

"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying." - unknown

"An old man who marries a young wife grows younger - but she grows older." - folk saying

"It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced." - Anonymous

"What female heart can despise gold?" - Thomas Gray

"A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: 'Love is what you've been through with somebody.'" - James Thurber

"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner

"The people people have for friends
Your common sense appall
But the people people marry
Are the queerest folk of all."
- Charlotte Perkins Gilman

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

"Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for." - Mae West

"The body, she says, is subject to the forces of gravity. But the soul is ruled by levity, pure." - Saul Bellow

"It does not matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you do not do it in the street and frighten the horses." - Mrs. Patrick Campbell

"A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it." - Don Fraser

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" - unknown

"There are three kinds of men who do not understand women: Young, old, and middle-aged." - Anonymous (and with good reason)

"Women like me because I make them laugh. And what is an orgasm, except laughter of the loins?" - Mickey Rooney

"There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it." - Lily Tomlin

"A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting." - Helen Rowland