The Awesome Always: Funny Sayings And Quotes

Funny Sayings And Quotes Biography

Source(google.com.pk)
It is hard to imagine a life without fun. There should be some point of time in life when you really feel like having fun, or want to be funny or spread the feel of fun around. Some people's life is always filled with fun that has the skill of converting even serious circumstances into funny ones. You cannot just help laughing when others are made fun and at times, even if you are the target; you appreciate the punch in the action and smile at it.

This is power of funny actions because humans are the only animals who have the capacity to laugh. Various situations are open to make fun of; the wedding, love, health or sickness, people in different locations and so on. The quotes given below have the capacity to bring a smile to your face once you read them and this can be spread to others too if you send these quotes through mail or e card.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
2.
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
3.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
5.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
6.
It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
7.
I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness
8.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
9.
My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?
10.
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
11.
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
12.
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
13.
You can't be late until you show up.
14.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
15.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
16.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
17.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
18.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
19.
books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke
20.
Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.
22.
As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.
23.
Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
24.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
25.
If you don't pray in my school, I won't think in your church.
26.
You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.
27.
Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
28.
life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
29.
Evolutionists have proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.
30.
It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.
31.
You never learn anything by doing it right.
32.
Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
33.
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
34.
I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.
35.
Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
36.
It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.
37.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
38.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
39.
A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
40.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
42.
If you're gonna go, go obnoxiously.
43.
Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation.
44.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
45.
An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the president but is always polite to traffic cops.
46.
If I love you, what business is it of yours? -- Johann van Goethe
47.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
48.
It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.
49.
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
50.
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
51.
I am erotic. You are kinky. They are perverts. We protect. Our allies enforce. Our enemies oppress. Congress appropriates. Microsoft lobbies. Citizens steal.
52.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
53.
Love is staying up all night with a sick child, or a healthy adult.
54.
The old believe everything, the middle- aged suspect everything, the young know everything
55.
Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
56.
To appreciate heaven well, it's good for a person to have some fifteen minutes of hell
57.
Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed
58.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
59.
Calling an engineer an applied scientist is like calling an artistic painter an applied pigment chemist.
60.
Mark's Dental-Chair Discovery: Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple yes or no answer.